Policies for Shamanic Readings
Yes, I do give readings and spiritual counseling for people, under certain circumstances. I am experienced with doing readings for and counseling folks from all manner of backgrounds, religions, and lifestyles. I am especially willing to read for folks who have alternative sexual practices (GLBT, kink, poly, etc.), or unusual spiritual practices involving the Gods and spirits, or who do serious energy work, because these demographics tend to have trouble finding readers and counselors who can serve them nonjudgmentally. I also do relationship readings, for any sort of relationship. However, even if you're just an average joe/jane, I can work with you. But these are the rules; please read them before you contact me about a reading.
1) Readings take place in my home at Cauldron Farm in Hubbardston, Massachusetts. I don't travel to you, unless there are really special circumstances. Occasionally, I go to conferences and gatherings in other states; I can sometimes make arrangements to do a reading there, late at night, if you come to the conference or at least to wherever they have me crashing. Generally I prefer that you come to my house. How you get here is your concern. Unfortunately, I cannot pick you up or find you a ride.
2) I don't do readings over the phone or the Internet. I am not Miss Cleo. I need your actual presence, so that I can pry open your Akashic records, as it were.
3) I have the right to refuse anyone, for any reason. Of course, if the Gods and spirits tell me that I have to help you, I will. But if they don't, I have the right to say no to you, for any reason. I do this for religious reasons, not as a money-making thing. (See my fee arrangement below.) That said, I rarely turn away someone who is genuinely looking for help.
4) I don't play head-games. If you have a problem, tell me honestly. I do not play around with people who want me to prove how psychic I am by guessing their issue. I don't have time for that, and it's disrespectful. If you're doing that, then obviously your issue is not important enough to you for you to require my services. Lying to me is also counterproductive, just like lying about your symptoms to a doctor is counterproductive to being effectively treated. If there is something that you don't wish to tell me, just say, "I don't feel like discussing that," and I'll decide if I can go on with the reading without that information.
5) I don't do this for entertainment purposes. I do this for religious purposes. If the only reason you want a reading is because you think it would be fun, you don't need my services. I don't do parties, or parlor tricks.
6) Readings are generally scheduled for Thursdays, some time between 3pm and 10pm. They tend to last around two hours, but may be longer or shorter depending on your situation. Call the morning of the reading to confirm your appointment. I will not leave messages on your machine or in your email that go unanswered, and then sit around wondering if you actually plan on showing up.
7) Please show up for your appointment. I generally need to do an hour and a half to two hours of ritual preparation before a reading. If you need to call and reschedule, please give me at least two hours notice! My number is 978-928-4198. Write it down. Pushing the reading back a few hours is generally possible, as I rarely do more than one reading a day.
8) Fee issues: I am in service to Hela, the Death Goddess and Keeper of Helheim, the land where the lower classes go when they die. Hela is in many ways a goddess of poverty, and She has laid strict taboos on me as to how I can accept payment.
I cannot set the price for the reading. You pay me what you think it's worth. I realize that most Americans are not used to deciding what something is worth and then paying for it, but that is the way it has to be. If you think it's worth nothing, you can tell me that and I will accept your payment without comment, because that's the geas She's laid on me. If you are very poor and only have two bucks and a carrot in your pocket, that's fine. Part of the taboo is that I am meant to be accessible to people regardless of their poverty. That's important to Hela. I will accept anything you give me graciously, because it's my job.
I cannot accept any money for myself for any reading. Of course, most people are accustomed to paying in money and prefer to do things that way, so I donate 100% of it to my church, the First Kingdom Church of Asphodel, which is trying to raise money for a chapel. This is, of course, greatly appreciated by the church. On the other hand, if it is important to you that I get some kind of personal benefit from your payment, there are things that I can accept. Basically, I can accept and keep anything that an ancient tribal shaman would have been given by the tribe that was supporting him, or a modern equivalent. Money, according to Hela, does not count as the symbolic equivalent of anything worthwhile, so I can't keep it. Non-taboo offerings are:
1. Food. Since I have many dietary restrictions and allergies, if you want to buy me food, buy me organic food that does not contain soy products (including soybean/"vegetable" oil), dyes, preservatives, or artificial junk. All raw produce must be organic. Gift cards from grocery stores count as food so long as I only spend them on food (a loophole that made Hela grumble, but She accepted it). You can also take me or my boy shopping at the grocery store.
2. Firewood. It should be something that we can burn in our woodstove without danger - i.e. no paint, varnish, veneer, pressed-wood, plywood glue, etc. - ideally in "stove-sized" pieces - not much more than a foot long. Dimensional lumber and certain other building materials are fine as well.
3. Animal feed, hay, or sawdust for bedding. We have goats, sheep, rabbits, and poultry. We usually get feed at John Spuria & Sons (978-827-5069), just past Gardner, in Ashburnham. The goats like "Dairy 16" and the sheep like "Coarse 14", but you can just make a check out to Spurias if that is easier for you.
4. Cloth. Except for some grubby around-the-farm clothes, I make all my own clothing. Since I am quite restricted in what sort of fabric I can wear, the best thing is a gift card for a fabric store. Otherwise, 100% linen or 100% wool in natural colors is usually safe.
5. Livestock. Not that anyone is likely to donate this, but it's acceptable, although I reserve the right to resell it or give it away if it's a large animal that we have no room for and no money to support. Pets do not count as livestock unless you are OK with us eating them.
6. Work barter. If you have no money at all or if you have a particularly useful skill to offer, it is perfectly acceptable to do a few hours work around my house and farm instead. The work assigned to you will be geared to your level of experience and ability. How much you put in will be up to you - it's what you think it's worth.
Please keep in mind that the fact that I am not doing this to flatter you and sap you of your cash means that you are far more likely to get an honest answer from me. To make an appointment for a reading, email me at cauldronfarm@hotmail.com.
Raven Kaldera
cauldronfarm@hotmail.com
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