The Disclaimer: I am not now, nor have I ever been, a member of any Asatru or Heathen group. I do not identify as Asatru or Heathen. I am a northern-tradition Pagan, which is a religious tradition that is reconstructionist-derived, rather than a reconstructionist tradition such as Asatru and/or Heathenry. The views espoused in these pages may or may not reflect the views of most Asatru and/or Heathen people or religious groups. They are derived from the personal gnosis of myself and other people whom I trust and respect. I do not claim that they are provable by academic sources, nor that they are anything other than what I say they are. Read at your own risk.
Winter's Fury
Before the Jotun goddess Skadi came to Asgard after her father's death to claim her
inheritance and a husband, she was worshipped widely in Midgard among the humanfolk. She
went often among them during the winter months, preferring to spend the summer months either
in Niflheim or in the far northeastern reaches of Jotunheim, where it was snowy year-round. It
was Skadi who first taught them the making of skis for the quick and snowshoes for the slow, of
winter dogsleds and traps of many kinds, of tracking and recognizing spoor even in the bitter
cold, and slowly they became winter hunters under her guidance. She taught a few of them, also,
of the ways of the stars, and how to read their chill and gleaming knowledge.
Among the northerners of Midgard who lived more than half the year in snow and ice
Skadi was much beloved, and also not a little feared. To gain her favor could mean the difference
between surviving the bitterest winter in reasonable comfort, or seeing one's children perish of
cold and starvation. They did not fool themselves into thinking that Skadi was a kindly mother
goddess; she was a maiden of ice, a white wolf in the snow with blood on her breast, a spear of
ice falling upon the unwary. They knew her nature, both cold and bloodthirsty, and they offered
her sacrifices.
When the seers looked upon the signs of Nature in the autumn, and knew with sinking
heart that this winter would be especially harsh, a young man was chosen among the handsomest
of the village, and offered to Skadi as consort and sacrifice. He was sent naked to a bower built
for them in the snow, there to await her pleasure, and she could take it as she wished. Then he
was lashed to a tree, and his testicles tied to a buck livestock animal of some sort - goat or bull -
and they were ripped from him. Whether he lived or died was up to Skadi and how well he had
pleased her, but he would never share his seed with another woman again. His blood was caught
in a vessel of carven stone and left on her altar, and she would have mercy on the village and
send them plentiful game, and fewer snowstorms.
When Skadi came to Asgard, the Aesir were well aware of her reputation among the
humanfolk of Midgard; they knew of the shrines built to her and the sacrifices made. She was a
Goddess in her own right, and thus after a time they allowed her a voice at their Moot, once she
was safely married off to Njord. Yet the marriage with Njord did not last, and while Skadi
claimed the inheritance of her Aesir stepmother and dwelt in her castle in the few snowy
mountains of Asgard, she often grew lonely in the strange golden land, so different from the
places that she loved to roam. She could not go home as often as she chose, as there were
decisions to be made and she was the only voice to speak for Jotunheim, and the burden of it
weighed on her heart.
One other thing weighed on her heart as well. She was still married to Njord the hostage
sea-king - for it was not the custom of the Vanir to divorce before the first year was up - yet she
no longer lived with him, nor shared his bed. He had been a pleasant enough bedmate, but now
she slept alone, and the huntress was not used to sleeping alone. At home, in the court of Thrym,
Jotun men vied to share her bed, and offers of marriage had come thick and fast. But here it was
different. The men of Asgard might admire her crisp beauty, her dark hair and snow-pale skin
and eyes the blue of a winter sky, and they might even bed her, but they would not take a giantess
to wife, nor even treat her as more than a brief pleasure-tryst. Frey was entirely taken by her
cousin Gerda, and she would not tread there out of respect, even were he interested, which he
was not - his eyes were all for his own etin-bride, and Skadi begrudged them not. There were no
Jotun men in Asgard save Tyr, who had an Aesir wife and an Aesir mistress....and Loki, who had
been the cause of her father's death.
At first she would not speak to Loki, nor even look at him, though he plied her with fair
words. She was no fool; she knew that her father's greed had been more than half the reason for
his death in the guarding flames of Asgard - that and his foolishness, to attempt to fly into their
citadel without permission - but she had loved her father in spite of his flaws, and it was a long
time before her coldness towards Loki thawed in any way.
Yet, finally, she managed to speak to him, and to her surprise found him to be a fine
listener - something that she would not have expected from the green-eyed wagtongue. In spite of
her misgivings, she found herself telling him about her loneliness, her family, her empty bed. He
simply nodded, and said, "It must be hard for you here, Lady, especially now that your cousin
Gerda has gone back to her people."
"Aye, and though I do not blame her, there are times when I wish that I could do it
myself. Yet I am here, and I have made the commitment; I will see it through. I would not turn
tail like a hare so soon," she said.
"No one could ever accuse you of cowardice," Loki said, and it was the sort of
compliment that a giant gave to a giantess, and in spite of herself Skadi glowed.
Soon after, Loki spoke to Odin about Skadi's sadness. The All-Father smiled and said,
"Well, my brother, of all the people here you are the one who could best bring a smile to her face,
if she were to forgive you your part in her father's death."
Loki's brow wrinkled. "Are you saying that you would have me court her for marriage,
after her handfasting with Njord is over? I do not think that she would wish that; nor would I."
For Loki's thoughts were ever on Sigyn, the child in Njord's household who was growing fast
towards womanhood, though he spoke of this to no one save the sea-king,
Odin looked at him with sharp eyes that twinkled, and said, "No, my brother, I would not
order you to marry the white she-wolf, for I know that your heart is elsewhere in my realm." And
Loki started, for he thought that he had kept this secret well, but Odin merely smiled, and said,
"Yet you could bring her some comfort, for a time, or at least pleasure. There is no harm in two
meeting as equals in this way, as I did the beautiful Vanadis. Give her some comfort. We need
her happy, for otherwise she might fill her castle with men from Thrym's court, and I would not
have that here in my land."
Loki went away and thought about this, and decided that a roll in the furs with Skadi
would not be so bad a thing, and besides he heard the implicit request in Odin's voice. "Of all the
things that he has asked me to do, this is one of the most pleasant by far," he thought, not
knowing that someday it would be one of the things he would most regret. Yet Skadi was hard to
approach; she was still cold and distant, and he did not wish to count on words to win her.
One day Skadi came down to Gladsheim while all and sundry were in the yard, playing
music and watching folk dance. She seated herself on a great chair and sat, glumly staring at the
dancers as if they were hardly there at all. Loki looked over at her, and an idea flew into the
trickster's head. Hurrying off to the barn, he grabbed a large buck goat by the horns and dragged
him out.
A few minutes later, Skadi looked up to see Loki being dragged along by a furious buck
goat. A rope was tied around his horns, and the other end was tied around Loki's testicles. He
was screaming and waving his arms in a manner that suggested there was more acting going on
than genuine pain, but it had the desired effect on the crowd. Roars of laughter broke out all
around. Skadi stared openmouthed at him. Loki met her glance just for a second as the goat
dragged him past her, and winked at her. She realized immediately that this was meant to be a
reference to her sacred rites, although not a serious one. She sat there openmouthed, not sure
whether or not to be offended, and then as the goat dragged Loki by again the rope strategically
snapped, and he tumbled rear-first into her lap.
"Oh! Oh, my Lady, I am so sorry! Oh, that brute!" he cried with exaggerated pain, and
then winked again and flashed her a smile. For a moment she stared at him, still dumbfounded,
and then slowly she smiled. Everyone around saw that smile, and applauded.
He may have been mocking my sacred rites, she thought, but I sense no malice or scorn
in him. He is a trickster, so perhaps this is his way of asking. If so, it can mean only one thing...
he is proposing to become my consort. Why else would he do this, in this manner? And it is true,
as a Jotun and my equal he should not be unmanned, and it would be a fine way to pay his debt
to me. As my consort, it would be a life lived for a life taken.
She put her arms around him, and said, "I trust that the goat did not harm you, then?"
Again that flash of a smile. "I believe that I am still intact. However, perhaps some testing
is in order."
Skadi inclined her head to him, still with that reserved, knowing smile. "I would be glad
to aid you in your tests, Laufey's Son." A man who wore only his mother's name, she thought,
ought to do well following a powerful woman. And I am told that his other wife, the Hag of the
Iron Wood, is a strong one as well, so if we can divide him properly between us, it will be fine.
He took her hand, and she rose and followed him, and together they went to his bed. There they
stayed for three days, pausing only for food and drink and sleep, for Skadi was a woman of
strong passions. And though by the end he was exhausted, Loki pleased her well.
Indeed, her heart opened to him, and she began to dream of love, and a bridal bed with a
man who would, she was sure, accompany her wherever she chose to travel. For was not Flame-Hair a
far traveller himself, born of her own mountainous land? No, it had been folly to think of
marrying outside her own kind; she smiled at his heavy-lidded eyes and kissed him, tentatively. It
was not a kiss of passion, but one of budding feelings. Skadi was slow to warm to love, and was
not easy with effusiveness.
On the third day, as Skadi was dressing to go home to her hall, she asked him, "Shall we
travel to the Iron Wood to speak to the Hagia, then?"
Loki, who was half asleep by the time, was startled awake. "What? Why?" he mumbled
groggily. "What has Angrboda to do with this?"
Surprise showed in Skadi's eyes. "I would not tread on the hem of her garment; I would
gain her permission to take you as my consort, as she is my senior in this. Besides, there are
details that we women should work out together - children and inheritance and such-"
Loki sat bolt upright. "What are you talking about?" he asked, staring at her in
bemusement. "Consort? What do you mean?"
The ice-giantess froze in mid-movement, and her boot tumbled out of her suddenly
confused fingers. "You wooed me with my sacred rites - well, a version of them, anyway. Did
you not mean to offer yourself as my consort?"
"By the Slith, no!" Loki cried, and then regretted his harshness as soon as it was out of his
mouth. "I mean - I meant only that we should take our pleasure together; that was all. I have no
intention of marrying-" The word "you" was swallowed before it left his lips. He fell back on the
bed and closed his eyes. "No, no, you misunderstood, sweeting."
Skadi slowly rose from the matted pile of furs and sheepskins. "Then why did you come
to me in the way that you did?" she asked. There was no expression on her face at all, and hardly
any in her voice, and if he had been paying attention, Loki would have known that this was a
very bad sign.
Instead, he yawned and shrugged. "I thought that it would get your attention."
Very slowly, and in a low voice, Skadi murmured, "You mocked and defiled my sacred
rites merely in order to get me into your bed? You had no intention of following their meaning?
You committed sacrilege for three nights of sport? Is this the truth, Flame-Hair?"
Loki looked up, beginning to realize that the woman standing over him had gone cold as a
statue of ice. "I did not mean it as sacrilege," he began lamely, but suddenly her face was an inch
away from his, and her wintry-blue eyes were gleaming with rage.
"How dare you!" she hissed. "How dare you treat me like some lesser girl to be used and
discarded! I am a goddess in my own right, Flame-Hair, and not to be trifled with in this way! Do
you realize what an offense you have created? A mortal would be dead by now!" Behind the
rage, tiny burning coals of love were being snuffed out by a freezing blizzard. She wanted to
weep, wanted to curse her own foolishness, but instead she struck him and fled his home, burying
her hopes by the roadside.
Loki left his bed and looked for her, but did not find her, and he dared not go to her castle
for fear that she might gut him like a fish. When he returned home, he found Njord standing by
his doorway, half in shadow. "So, Loki," he said. "You would have not only my foster-child but
my wife as well?"
The trickster's breath went entirely out of him in one whoosh. "Please accept my
apologies, my Lord," he said. "I thought that you two were as good as divorced. Besides, this was
a mistake that I do not intend to repeat."
"Then you will not by marrying her, when our year is up?" Njord asked.
"By stone and bone, no," Loki said in a tired voice. "I am already married to one she-wolf,
I do not need another one. That is the last thing that I need."
"Good," said Njord, "for if you had taken Skadi, I would have refused you Sigyn. She is
no match for that one."
"She only used you as a stepping-stone for her ambitions," Loki said suddenly, harshly.
Njord inclined his head. "I know," he said. "I did not mind being so used, as her
intentions are honorable, and we have parted friends. And I intend we shall stay so. Your people
need someone to speak for them here, Loki, and this is a job that you have not wished to take."
"My people!" Loki spat. "My people are who I choose to be with. I will not be told who
to ally myself with, or who to impress!" He stopped, wondering at his own words; Njord merely
looked at him for a moment, nodded inscrutably, and left.
Skadi, for her part, nursed her wounded heart in silence, and never spoke of it anyone. So
it came to be that no one knew of it, although on that fatal day in Odin's hall after Baldur's death
Loki did make a spiteful mention of their short-lived affair. But even if her heart was healed, her
pride was not; she bitterly resented Loki's treatment of her sacred rites, and considered his
actions an offense against her status. Soon after, when Sigyn grew old enough to marry and Loki
wedded her in Asgard in front of all the Aesir, Skadi watched with cold eyes. So you were not
looking to wed, were you? She left quietly before the ceremony was over, and said nothing.
Yet Skadi came to find out that more damage still was done to her than merely her heart
and her pride. Loki was as much a God as she, and when he performed his mocking version of
her sacred ritual, his deeds reverberated through the worlds and affected the deeds of mortals. It
was not long afterwards that Skadi found the humanfolk of Midgard had decided to stop
sacrificing the blood of their fine youths for her; surely, they reasoned, Skadi would like it better
if their young men lived to hunt further in her name, and they began to make the ritual a mock-sacrifice
rather than a real one. She was furious, and cursed them with bitter winters and no game
for eleven years, but in the end she relented and took their bloodless offerings, deciding that the
blame lay at Loki's door and not theirs. .
So it was that by the time Loki was caught and bound by the Aesir, Skadi had a deep and
burning fund of resentment against him. After the last of them had left the cave where he lay
bound by the guts of his eldest son, she remained, gazing upon his furious face and the weeping
visage of Sigyn, kneeling at his side. Drawing from her coat a venomous snake, she hung it from
the stone-spears jutting downward form the cave-roof, and bade it stay there. "As you have made
me suffer, so shall you suffer," she said, and left just as the venom was dripping from the serpent
onto Loki's bound form. As the screams began, a picture flew into her head - Loki and the goat,
and his false screams. "You shall suffer for me one way or another, blasphemer," she said, and
did not look back once as she strode from the mountain's gaping maw.
Raven Kaldera
cauldronfarm@hotmail.com
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