Zot Lynn Szurgot

Zot Lynn Szurgot is one of those magical people living between genders; born and raised a boy, she lives part of eir life as a masculine union-supporting electrician and part as a feminine spiritual being. She is also, among other things, a former Shivaite monk. "Cross-dresser" is far too limited a term for a being like Zot Lynn. Former Speaker of the House of Commons in Asphodel (because what else is a monarchy to do with its favorite Marxist?), Zot is still much beloved by the older members of the Kingdom despite her long absence. Rather than a bio, we’ve excerpted part of her interview for the book “Hermaphrodeities: The Transgender Spirituality Workbook”, so that she can tell you all about herself in her own words.

Zot says: First and foremost, i am a servant; hopefully serving Gaia in all her biological splendor, if i'm not lost here. Difficulty with self-description led me to ask my lover to describe me, and she says; “Zot Lynn is an explorer, patient and courteous, and she knows how to mourn. She is committed to social change to extremes; she refuses to pay federal tax for war, and refuses the economy based on new purchases and its glamour-draw. She is so bedazzled by thoughts and dreams that she finds it hard to operate in this world.”

In my natal astrological chart, Venus and Mars are conjunct on either side of my dawn rising sign, marking equal influences from masculine and feminine, and from the same direction. As with many other TGs, the asteroid Pallas is placed notably.

My home culture (media-drenched USA) is both somnambulistic and amnesiac. Because it has forgotten my gender exists and has forgotten the sacred roles we once filled, there is no plug-and-play religion for me. It has sent me farther afield, and into syncretism. i inherit from the Catholicism of my birth its crowded pantheon, its use of ritual, pomp, theater, and props, its use of fasting and repetitive chanting as technologies of consciousness change, its sense of being watched by those in other world(s), and its attraction to gore. From Buddhism i learn to cleanly strip to bare essentials, and a developmental map with a psychological flavor. Taoism reinforces my seeing out through the eyes of animals, and links the natural world to a terran harmony the translators misleadingly called Heaven. Native Americans open the idea of spirit warrior, recognize nadle'eh as sacred, and introduced me to powerful experiences in sweat lodges. Animism links all Life as holy, transcends talk, and places the sacred right here, where it is! Tantra puts the total in total transformation, demands that i do so to society and self alike simultaneously, admits no concession, and heals the illusory split in immanent transcendence. Paganism offers forms that feel right, are not stolen, are usable without leaving out these other traditions, and are open to improvisation and reinterpretation, even to inclusion of us TGs.

i should talk about the chameleonic nature of the bigendered. We are strong in the ability to identify with other people and creatures, to relate to and empathize with them. This develops our compassion, and may help us bring one point of view across to someone holding another point of view. This same trait often has us losing ourselves in our current context (as chemicals, we're highly soluble) and removes the "not-that" next to those we'd rather not be. For example, while i am highly conscience-driven, i cannot reject anyone for moral failings, since i can find some version of the same inside me; and the empathy is stronger than comparisons on a scale of evil, or i have the thought and i just don't act on the same urges. i'm just like everybody else, only more so.

These gifts didn't come on the backs of astrologers' camels while i lay around in the straw; they accreted while i flopped around, earnestly struggling with being TG, with having a hunger for the divine, with being the kind of animal we are. Much of what has accreted is baggage, a spiritual junk shop. Sometimes i hid from the struggle, sometimes i sought a spirit-centered life in one sangha or another. Repeatedly, i made impractical choices as i tried to integrate spirituality with eating, sex, making a living, being a member of my family of origin, and talking in a way that made sense to those around me. This past-tense talk makes it sound like i'm the wise crone, done with flopping and struggling and learning, and that's hilarious. It's OK; laughter's the essence.

While i associate being TG with having a spiritual assignment, i would have come to this level of spirituality were i not TG, but not this form. It's not that i think the poor monogendered nontrans ones (impoverished as they may seem to us) do not have their assignments; it's more like ours are special to us, and have a gender-transcending flavor. i also don't think we have a choice. Maybe it's like this: There is disagreement in the world over whether the Divine is one or many, female or male, loving or judgmental, parental or faceless. We answer, "Yes." Maybe you have to get your own binaries burned off to approach the numinous closely.

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